Websites Akaya Must Never UseEVER
by LivelyRose
Summary: What started out as a normal enough day ends up going horribly awry after Akaya's newest discovery. First attempt at a Crack fic! Sanada being twitchy, Akaya being a baby, and Yukimura being Godly.
AN: I honestly don't know where this came from...I was doing a paper for my psychology class and watching POT videos on the side, and I saw one that I couldn't help but imagine the Rikkai regular's reactions to if they ever saw it. And then this fic was created. But anyways HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

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It was a normal day at Rikkai Dai Fuzoku Chuu, Sanada was yelling and slapping those that slacked off, Marui was volunteering Jackal to buy him sweets, Renji was collecting data, Niou was torturing the first-years, and Yagyū was half-heartedly scolding Niou for his actions...politely of course.

Now the only thing out of place was their captain's strange absence, but Yukimura was trusted to have a good reason for being absent. What was slightly more concerning was their junior ace being missing. Granted no one noticed his not being present until Niou got bored of the first years and wanted to torture his favorite kohai instead.

"Hey! Where's the brat?"

His question brought everyone out of their previous thoughts and actions, and led them all to actually wonder if they had seen the youngest regular at all since practice started. Marui jumped up, having remembered something suddenly.

"He was in the locker room earlier when we were all getting changed, but I could've sworn he was following me out when I was done changing..." He trailed off while scratching his head sheepishly.

Sanada was starting to get annoyed. Actually scratch that, he was always borderline annoyed at practice, he was starting to get very mad because they were supposed to be practicing not looking for lost members, damn it! He was already thinking of the many ways he was going to make Akaya suffer for distracting everyone from practicing tennis. Maybe a thousand laps or a five-hundred pushups would be suitable. Thinking a little more he figured why did he have to choose between the two when he could just assign BOTH laps AND pushups. Maybe he'll toss in some weights as well, after all this will all benefit Akaya in the long run. Hmm long run..hehe puns. Sanada mentally patted himself on the back for the genius plan and witty joke he made. And that Atobe fool said he had no sense of humor.

Suddenly they heard a scream come from the locker room that jolted them all out of their thoughts. Looking at each other, they already knew what the others were thinking.

'AKAYA!'

Despite their unusually rough treatment of the junior ace, they really did treasure him as their precious baby. They were practically family, given all that they've been through. So when they heard their beloved kohai scream such a blood-curdling scream, they immediately ran to his aid without thinking. Niou, surprisingly enough ,was the first to reach the doors and pulled them open so quickly the hinges almost detached. When the rest of the Rikkaidai regulars caught up, they saw Akaya huddled in a corner, pale as snow, shaking and pointing to his phone which he seemed to have thrown towards the opposite side of the room.

Testing the waters, Niou hesitantly asked, "Akaya..what's wrong?"

Turning his face towards his senpai and close to tears, Akaya managed to stutter out an unintelligible explanation, "It...was...h-horrible...the th-things, w-who d-did..this..I..I d-don't know..."

The rest of the regulars had all these crazy possibilities going through their heads, ranging from a death in Akaya's family to Akaya being diagnosed with an incurable disease. The latter gave them a dark sense of Déjà vu. With fear of what happened going rampant throughout them all, they all decided it was best to get to the bottom of all this once and for all.

Marui took charge this time and reached to pick up Akaya's discarded phone from the floor.

"NO! DON'T LOOK AT IT!" Akaya screamed when he realized what his sugar-loving senpai was about to do, but it was too late. Marui had already picked it up, plugged in his headphones, and was watching what was on the screen with an uncharacteristically blank face. After a minute of nothingness, he walked over to his locker and dumped all the sweets he had into the trash bin, before calmly placing the phone on the changing room bench and reaching for his racket with the intention to destroy the vile thing forever. If Jackal hadn't stopped him, he most certainly would have killed Akaya's phone.

After witnessing Marui's reaction to whatever was on the phone, the regulars were even more fearful and on edge. Finally Sanada had enough of them wasting precious practice time. He took charge and reached over to grab the phone while the rest of the regulars visibly flinched. Marui had already taken a seat next to Akaya in his corner and was now stroking his hair with the same blank expression.

Taking out the headphones, Sanada angled the phone so all the regulars could see. It looked like a video, so he tried to stare at it and make it play seeing as that's how he got the first years to do things. When that didn't work he was about to slap the shit out of the phone and see if that worked since it worked on Akaya when thankfully Renji took over before Sanada could make things worse.

"Allow me, Genichirō." Renji slid the phone out of his hands and tapped the screen in the middle once and suddenly the video was playing.

The first thing they saw was Niou's face and they were blasted by the sounds accompanying it.

"I'M SEXY..." It seemed as if Niou was mouthing the words to the strange voice that was most definitely not his.

"I'M CUTE..." The image changed to Marui's face, and just as with Niou, it matched the voice perfectly despite the voice not being anything close to his.

"I'M POPULAR TO BOOT.." The image switched to Yukimura's and just as with the other's it seemed as if he was singing.

The rest of the video went in the same manner with each regular having a scene where their lips seemed to be singing along to a voice that was completely and utterly nothing like their own.

Mental breakdowns were happening all around. Renji was confused to how this video could have so many recordings of them from what they thought were personal. How were they recorded? They never even saw a camera or anything. Sanada didn't know how to process this. On one hand he was severely disturbed but on the other hand, he couldn't help but admire how Yukimura still managed to look Godly while having a high-pitched girl voice dub his actions.

They were all silent for a while before they heard the doors open. Yukimura was finally here. They were almost more terrified of his reaction rather than the mystery of how someone managed to record them as if they were some anime show and make a dubbed music video out of it. The very idea was blasphemous and terrified them to no end, however Yukimura was more scary than anything else so what happened next would confuse them for the rest of their lives.

"Everyone, why are two of our regulars rocking themselves in the corner as if mentally scarred for life while the rest of you hover over a phone?" Yukimura's soft voice trailed over to where they were all standing in shock.

There was silence as none of them turned around to face their captain lest they imagine him singing the song from the video in real life. Yukimura was starting to get agitated now as he realized none of them were responding. With slight concern, he asked once again, this time calling out to their fukubuchou.

"Sanada?"

Sanada visibly stiffened before slowly turning to face him. Taking in a breath to steady himself, he readied himself before explaining what caused them to enter the locker room in the first place. Akaya. He made another mental note to punish him severely when this was all sorted out. Yukimura's face was stoic while he listened to Sanada's words. He didn't say anything but calmly reach over to take the phone from Renji's hands and watch the video himself.

The rest of the regulars including Akaya and Marui, who recovered enough to be curious about their captain's reaction, watched anxiously as Yukimura watched the phone's screen with unwavering attention. Not even a twitch appeared, and they let their guard down before all of a sudden, Yukimura started laughing softly.

"I never took you as a Courtney, Sanada." He chuckled a little more with his eyes shut from mirth.

Then he opened his eyes, and there was a new sharp look in them as he looked at the regulars closely. Eyes narrowing slightly as his gaze passed each one, his expression darkening the mood in the locker room.

"Is this why you all wasted HALF of practice? A video made by some fangirl most likely. Is that what we do at RikkaiDai? Is this how we're going to win Nationals for the third time?" His voice was soft, but his words were sharp.

A shiver went up through all of them, and before Yukimura could blink, they had all ran out the locker room to run laps and warm up.

Yukimura sighed as he went to the board in their locker room and added something to the bottom of one page, before changing and walking out to join the rest of his team.

On the Board:

Websites & Apps Akaya Must Never Use...EVER!

1) Fanfiction (Scary Place for Fangirls )

2) Facebook (Niou tricked him into thinking Rafael Nada friend requested him)

3) Tumbr (Scary Fangirls Refer to Number 1)

4) DeviantArt (Images...Made for Fangirls..Number 1 in Visual Form)

5) Google (All the possibilities)

6) Wikipedia (Niou changed the information on Tennis & broke Akaya's brain for 2 weeks)

7) Twitter (Akaya wouldn't stop talking in hashtags #SoAnnoying)

8) Instagram (Refer to Number 7)

9) Tinder (Niou tricked him into flirting with Seigaku's coach)

10) Netflix (He binge watched himself into a coma)

11) Amazon (Bought Excessive Tennis Supplies with Jackal's Credit Card)

12) eBay (Refer to Number 11 but with Sanada's Credit Card)

13) Craigslist (Attempted to Sell Sanada's Hat, Yukimura's Headband, Niou's Rattail, Yagyuu & Renji's Glasses, and Marui's Wristbands to Fangirls...Jackal felt slightly left out)

14) Vine (Almost Killed Himself & Others While 'Doing it For the Vine')

15) YouTube (Watching Videos that Scar Both Him & the Regulars)

***OMAKE***

The rest of the regulars including Akaya and Marui, who recovered enough to be curious about their captain's reaction, watched anxiously as Yukimura watched the phone's screen with unwavering attention. Not even a twitch appeared, and they let their guard down before all of a sudden, Yukimura started laughing softly.

Then before they knew it, he had brandished a chainsaw from out of nowhere and sawed the phone right in half, while breathing heavily. Then he straightened up, and turned around to face all the regulars with a blinding smile. Some even swore there was a light shining from behind him.

'Yukimura really is God!' They all thought to themselves.

"Why are you all still here? We have practice don't we?" A strange glint appearing in his eyes as he finished his question.

In the blink of an eye they had all ran out the locker room to run their laps and warm up. Yukimura happily changed and practically skipped out of the locker room to join them, all a while thinking of the various ways he could torture-I mean improve their tennis skills.

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 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Prince Of Tennis OR the Video Rikkai's Sexy and Cute! by RissaStuff954**

I just got the idea for this story after watching that video and wondering what the Rikkai regulars would say if they saw it.  
Hope you guys enjoyed this story! Let me know if you liked it or want me to work on something through a review!


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